Today I turn forty.

Forty! I can remember when I thought forty was old. This is what I looked like when I entertained such foolish thoughts:

That’s me around nine years old, with my first drum set – a vintage three piece orange sparkle Slingerland Radio King. After school, I’d go straight to the basement and practice on those drums for hours, much to my parent’s dismay. I’d bash away until Mom and Dad banged on the ceiling, indicating time for dinner. Life was a bit simpler back then.

Speaking of Mom and Dad, here’s a picture of the people directly responsible for my birthday, the original Mr. and Mrs. Frenchy:

I try not to think too much of the actual events that had to occurr forty years ago to bring about my birthday.

One of my favorite birthday traditions has always been ‘The Call’, where my Mom tells the story of my first big day. “It was 2 degrees outside… and my water broke… ” Mom also can’t believe I’m forty, which, according to her is impossible, because she’s only thirty-six!

On this momentous occasion, I can’t help but reflect back on the past, which seems to have flown by in the blink of an eye. How did I go from a nine year old kid with dreams of being the next Buddy Rich to a motorcycle riding, blogging audio engineer on the road for more days than I care to count? I have no idea. Forty years happened pretty fast.

Now I realize that forty isn’t old, forty is just the beginning. Sure, nowadays thing creak and groan a bit more than they used to. My protective layer of karate fat has thickened some. I can’t stay out as late as I think I can anymore, and recovery efforts now take days instead of hours. But, that’s all good, it’s simply the price of admission. I can still hang, just not as well as I used to. But I know the secret now… sooner or later, age happens to everyone. In my short time on this planet, I’ve been fortunate enough to toast exactly 14,609 Best Days Ever, and I’ve honestly tried to make the best of each one. Along the way, I’ve made some close friends, seen some amazing places, made a few epic mistakes, and, most importantly, had lots of great laughs. I can’t complain – and if that’s the best you can say after living nearly half a century, then, at the end of the day, that really ain’t too bad.

Here’s to the next 14,609 Best Days Ever ahead. Bring it on!

Since I started the new and seldom updated Frenchy’s Rant, I’ve been secretly using Google Analytics to monitor the meager traffic that trickles through my site. Honestly, the Faithful Fifteen seem to have stuck with the blog, and every now and then someone new stumbles along. Full disclosure, anytime I am feeling good about myself, I check Google Analytics . The extremely low number in the Daily Visitor column ends that feeling pretty quickly.

Google Analytics offers tons of information on the visitors to the blog. I can see where people visited from, how long they stayed, what they read, and now I can even see which keywords in a Google search brought visitors to my little corner of the intertubes. Usually the keywords are blog related: ‘motorcycle’, ‘frenchy’s rant’, or something similar. However, sometimes those keywords are in no way blog related at all. One in particular, a string of almost nonsense words really got me wondering: “How the hell did a random bunch of words like that led someone to Frenchy’s Rant?”

I Googled the great phrase to find out. At first I found nothing. I had to dig fourteen pages deep to solve the mystery. The keywords somehow matched up to my Scotland ride report. Here is the passage that made the curious searcher stop by and check out my blog:

‘When riding conditions really suck in the middle of a ride, … Look at that fucking rain! It’s coming down sideways! … much better than the Indian food of the day before, I decided to try something REALLY adventurous for lunch. … beverage is lovingly created – the Macallan distillery, but that got washed out.’

The phrase that matched that post? I swear I am not making this up: ‘an indian boy suckng really milk from a girl and fuckng her very lovingly‘

Priceless!

The rest of the information from Google Analytics completed the story for me. This search was performed on Christmas Eve! That right there is the best Christmas present I could ever hope for, and is the reason, low traffic or not, I will do my best to continue to blog.