Seat Lottery

Flying alone, I’m always at the mercy of the airline’s “Seat Lottery”

The elusive grand prize in the seat lottery, equivalent to winning the Powerball jackpot, would be something like sitting next to a 21 year old redhead on her way to nymphomaniac reform school. Sadly, this never happens.

Second prize would be an empty row, or at least and empty seat to stretch out on.

Last prize, the one that I’m usually awarded, would be a rotund, sweat-soaked porker with armrest-encroaching folds of flab.

In an effort to boost my seat lottery odds, I usually change my seat when I check in, throwing off the airline’s carefully calculated lottery

Yesterday’s Northwest Airlines Seat Lottery results:

Providence to Detroit – An old British gentleman with bad teeth and worse breath. He greeted me with “Cheerio”, which set the tone for the whole trip. At least he chose Cheerios, because any other breakfast cereal, like “Frosted Flake” or “Lucky Charm” wouldn’t have made any sense at all.

Detroit to Milwaukee – Gadget guy. This guy spent ten minutes fumbling with his Ipod, his Playstation Portable, his Blackberry, and worst of all, his stupid flashing wireless earpiece. These ridiculous earpieces have pretty much replaced earrings in middle aged men. And lately I’ve noticed people walking around wearing these things even when they aren’t talking. But that’s a blog for another day.

Anyway, this guy almost delayed our flight turning off all of his electronic equipment.

I also won the booby prize on this flight. The redhead nympho ended up sitting in the row I switched out of.