Keywords

Since I started the new and seldom updated Frenchy’s Rant, I’ve been secretly using Google Analytics to monitor the meager traffic that trickles through my site. Honestly, the Faithful Fifteen seem to have stuck with the blog, and every now and then someone new stumbles along. Full disclosure, anytime I am feeling good about myself, I check Google Analytics . The extremely low number in the Daily Visitor column ends that feeling pretty quickly.

Google Analytics offers tons of information on the visitors to the blog. I can see where people visited from, how long they stayed, what they read, and now I can even see which keywords in a Google search brought visitors to my little corner of the intertubes. Usually the keywords are blog related: ‘motorcycle’, ‘frenchy’s rant’, or something similar. However, sometimes those keywords are in no way blog related at all. One in particular, a string of almost nonsense words really got me wondering: “How the hell did a random bunch of words like that led someone to Frenchy’s Rant?”

I Googled the great phrase to find out. At first I found nothing. I had to dig fourteen pages deep to solve the mystery. The keywords somehow matched up to my Scotland ride report. Here is the passage that made the curious searcher stop by and check out my blog:

‘When riding conditions really suck in the middle of a ride, … Look at that fucking rain! It’s coming down sideways! … much better than the Indian food of the day before, I decided to try something REALLY adventurous for lunch. … beverage is lovingly created – the Macallan distillery, but that got washed out.’

The phrase that matched that post? I swear I am not making this up: ‘an indian boy suckng really milk from a girl and fuckng her very lovingly‘

Priceless!

The rest of the information from Google Analytics completed the story for me. This search was performed on Christmas Eve! That right there is the best Christmas present I could ever hope for, and is the reason, low traffic or not, I will do my best to continue to blog.