Day 6

Carlsbad, NM to San Antonio, TX – 479 Miles

 Carlsbad Caverns National Park
Winner – Most Unreadable National Park Sign Ever

Abi’s word to describe the caves: Damp
Mine: Batman!
Fiona (stuck at work a thousand miles away): Work sucks!

It had been put off as much as possible, but with our limited time draining away, we had to step it up and get some miles behind us. Today we’d have to face the inevitable long highway slog. The skies threatened rain, so we donned our rain gear, which usually assures that no rain will fall. Like most other times, this biker precaution worked, and no rain fell.

A bullet-riddled sign welcomed us to Texas, and cautioned us to ‘Drive Friendly – The Texas Way.’ In the middle of that desolate Texas road, a huge buzzard sat dining on some fresh road kill, until it noticed us speeding its way and flew off with some tasty entrails hanging out of its beak. Welcome to Texas indeed!

West Texas Report Card:

Curves – F
Road kill – A-
Scenery – C+ (That’s a bit generous)
Speed Limits – A+

One of the best things about my line of work is the friends I’ve made from all over the country. On a trip like this if at all possible we’ll try to stay at the house of one of those friends. Cheap hotels have their charms, but spending time at their homes with people you know only from work is infinitely better. My friend Lance and his wife Ramona live in San Antonio, and generously offered to put us up for the night. The New England Patriots were playing the Cincinnati Bengals on ESPN, so for Abi, a rabid sports fan, that was a bonus. To make things even better, it also happened to be Lance’s birthday. Seemed we’d picked the perfect day for a visit.

In my opinion, the best gift Lance received was a bottle of my favorite whisky, The Macallan. During the course of the evening, we celebrated the festive occasion by draining most of the bottle.

Always happy to increase my vocabulary, I also learned two new words at this party; douchosity which is the inherent amount of a douchebag that a person or things is, and douch-o-meter, which is a scale to rate that inherent douchosity. In return, I taught the party the finer points of Tuzigoot.

The Patriots won, so Abi was happy, and the Macallan was flowing, so I was happy too. Lance’s birthday definitely rated a healthy zero on the old douch-o-meter. On the other hand, Lance and Ramona’s Texas Sized Hospitality ranks a solid A++

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Author: frenchy