At 4:45 AM, waiting for the TSA line to officially open at the Columbia, SC airport, I overheard a conversation that could only happen on the WWE tour. Balls Mahoney, a 5’10”, 285 pound slob of a wrestler, forehead scarred and teeth missing from years of chair shots, body slams and barbed wire hardcore match abuse was enthusiastically telling the TV crew about his night.

“Oh man, you guys should’ve seen it! Last night was one weeeird night, man!”

Now when a wrestler named Balls starts out a story like that, something interesting – possibly involving sheep, or at the very least sex, drugs and rock and roll, has to be coming.

Balls continued, “After the show last night me and some of the boys went to this karaoke bar a few minutes away. It was awesome! I got up and sang ‘I Love Rock and Roll‘ then me and Victoria (a female wrestler) sang a duet for a bunch of coked-out businessmen in suits and ties. When we were done, one of those guys said screw the wrestling crap, I should be a rock star! It was weeeeird.”

Weird indeed. A little disappointing too, but at least it had something to do with rock and roll.

Author: frenchy