I am convinced there is some strange curse on me. It’s not really a terrible curse. In fact, it may sound trivial, but it’s annoying just the same.

What is the curse?

I turn invisible whenever I have to interact with service-type people. If I order a hamburger in a resturant, I get a ham sandwich. If I ask for an aisle seat on an plane, I always get put in a window. Ask for a king sized bed non-smoking hotel room, I will get the smallest bed in a room that smells like the Marlboro convention checked out hours before. Never fails!

If this happened once in a while, it wouldn’t be a problem. If I was a huge asshole and demanded things instead of politely asking, maybe things would be different. I am sure I would get a ham and spit sandwich instead of a hamburger.

Lately, the curse seems to have worsened. Last night, I coined the term “Getting Dr. Peppered” for my curse.

Here’s why.

Last night, I went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I ordered my usual, a chicken burrito with no sour cream. I even looked the waiter in the eye, but I could tell he was mostly preoccupied with something much more important than taking an order from an invisible person, like what color panties the hostess was wearing. The curse strikes again.

Of course, my burrito came out practically SWIMMING in sour cream. I guess when you are invisible, the words ‘NO sour cream‘ sound like “EXTRA sour cream“. On the bright side, at least I didn’t get a ham sandwich! Someday, I will try ordering exactly what I don’t want, but that will be the day that I am suddenly visible, and will get exactly what I ordered.

Later that night, I woke up with incredible cramps. It felt like the contents of my stomach had been brought to a boil, and loud and scary sounds were eminating from my angry guts.

In my half-asleep state, I decided a bottle of water is what I need. I know from previous experience that tap water usually makes an angry stomach angrier, and I didn’t want to deal with that. I rooted around for a few quarters, then stumbled to the vending machine. I put money in, press the button for “Clear Springs Water” and, of course, out comes…

Dr. Pepper.

Author: frenchy

One Response to “Dr. Peppered – September 26, 2005”

1. Anonymous says:

   October 2, 2005 at 4:18 PM

   Back away from the bong, please!!!

   Reply