Standing around waiting at baggage claim, Jason – one of the original Faithful Fifteen said, “Damn, Frenchy, being on the same flight as you, I thought I was going to witness firsthand one of your travel rants.”

“Oh? You must’ve missed it then, because I’ve got one. The guy behind me…”

Before I could even launch into the story, some other guy waiting for his luggage cut me off. “I saw that! The guy that tapped you on the shoulder! What the hell was that about anyway?”

“As we took off, I was just about asleep, so I put my seat back. All of a sudden, the asshat business-douche in the seat behind me, you know, the kind of self-important twat that keeps his Bluetooth earpiece in his ear at all times in case ‘the office’ needs his extremely valuable input on something vital like should we serve chocolate covered or powdered donuts at the meeting, reaches up and taps me on the shoulder.”

“Excuse me, sir?” the little shit whined, waking me up. “Could you put your seat back up until they give us all permission to put our seats back?”

“Give us permission to what?” Hearing this, the guy next to me rolled his eyes and immediately put his seat all the way back too. Mind you, at this point nearly every seat around me is reclined. The Bluettoothed fool tapped me again. Now fully awake and fully pissed off, I turned around to the douchebag and said the first thing that came to my mind.

“Blow me!”

And so, to all the self-important Black and Blueberry toting frequent-flying business-douches on airplanes all over the world, I give you ALL this heartfelt G-F-Y award:

Author: frenchy