Being somewhat of a smart-ass, it’s a very rare occasion that I’m rendered speechless. After last night, the US Airways Arena in Phoenix will forever be remembered as one place where I was.

Cyber Sunday, what seems like the WWE’s thousandth or so Pay-Per-View of 2008 was all over except for strike, the time we put away all the toys we used during the show, pack it all up in trucks and get ready to go do it all over again somewhere far, far away.

I was wrapping cables running from the TV truck into the arena in an almost completely empty parking area. I say almost, because there was exactly one car, a shiny new Mustang convertible still parked nearby. One of the crew, who shall remain nameless, somehow managed to push a loaded cart right into that one remaining car. There was no apparent damage, but that didn’t stop me for harassing him.

“Oh man, what the fuck!” I shouted in mock anger. “You plowed into the only car in the entire lot! Nice job, you… dickhole!” I had a little giggle to myself, thinking, “Wow. Dickhole! Now that’s pretty original!” It was the highlight of my day.

That highlight only lasted for a minute or so, then I felt bad. Not for insulting the guy, we do that as a matter of course around here. It helps keep crew morale nice and low. What I felt bad about was the fact that a girl, not part of our tight knit crew, just an innocent civilian that happened to be walking by at the time, overheard me giving the guy grief with my clever insult.

I quickly started apologizing, saying to her, “I’m really sorry you had to hear that.”

She turned to me and her quick response rendered me speechless.

“That’s OK. Dickhole was my nickname in high school!”

Author: frenchy