Overheard last night: “I never realized so many trains derailed until my Internet kept going out.”

What the hell? Is THAT why we can’t get online?

Yes, right now the whole town of Aspen has no internet. The culprit? A coal train derailment that not only tore up 1000 feet of track, but also cut Comcast’s main fiber optic cable. Must have been a hell of a crash! Losing the Internet by train wreck is so crazy that it just has to be true. Nobody could make that up.

For three days now we’ve suffered through the Great Aspen Internet Blackout of ’06. There is no access aqt all in town, in fact the only wireless access point that works is in the lobby of the hotel we use for our TV compound. And that access point is nearly always full.

Still, it’s only a minor inconvenience, really. It’s just the Internet after all. I’m tough, I’ll survive. I can always find something else to occupy myself.

At least McStorlie’s has Guinness, right?

Wrong.

The curse of Dr. Pepper strikes once again! McStorlie’s ran out of Guinness yesterday afternoon, and won’t have any more until tomorrow at the earliest. Not only does the Internet come to Aspen via railroad, evidently beer does as well. Now that… well that’s a serious problem. An Irish pub running out of Guinness is worse than that famous Irish restaurant (McDonald’s) running out of French Fries, for crying out loud!

McStorlies is perilously close to winning a Frenchy’s Rant GFY award. I can understand Comcast not having a backup plan for the Internet, but can’t one of the many unemployed Rugby players jump in their pickup truck and go find a few kegs for us??? Do I have to think of everything?

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! This is turning into the worst vacation EVER!!!!!

Author: frenchy