Frenchy's Rant

Ever wonder what would happen if you bought 500 Quick Pick Powerball tickets? Wonder how well you would do? Hitting the $270 million jackpot is a near impossibility, but you’d have to win something, right?

The final tally for the First Ever WWE Crew Powerball Powerpool is in.

The results: Of the 500 tickets purchased, the winnings total was $154. That money was reinvested in the following drawing, considering there was no jackpot winner.

Of the 154 tickets in the second drawing, the winnings total was $12, which breaks down to a whopping .24 per person.

So it looks like Bill Bryson is off the hook, and the Rant will continue for the foreseeable future.

The bad news: I’m still posting, which means the WWE pool didn’t win the $242 million jackpot.

The good news: Nobody else won either. Saturday’s jackpot? Estimated at $300 MILLION!

I’m in for round two. If I win, I’ll hire Bill Bryson to continue the blog. At least it it’ll be interesting again, instead of merely yawn inspiring!

At 4:45 AM, waiting for the TSA line to officially open at the Columbia, SC airport, I overheard a conversation that could only happen on the WWE tour. Balls Mahoney, a 5’10”, 285 pound slob of a wrestler, forehead scarred and teeth missing from years of chair shots, body slams and barbed wire hardcore match abuse was enthusiastically telling the TV crew about his night.

“Oh man, you guys should’ve seen it! Last night was one weeeird night, man!”

Now when a wrestler named Balls starts out a story like that, something interesting – possibly involving sheep, or at the very least sex, drugs and rock and roll, has to be coming.

Balls continued, “After the show last night me and some of the boys went to this karaoke bar a few minutes away. It was awesome! I got up and sang ‘I Love Rock and Roll‘ then me and Victoria (a female wrestler) sang a duet for a bunch of coked-out businessmen in suits and ties. When we were done, one of those guys said screw the wrestling crap, I should be a rock star! It was weeeeird.”

Weird indeed. A little disappointing too, but at least it had something to do with rock and roll.

In a rare move of unity, The entire WWE TV crew pitched in and did something to better humanity. No, we didn’t raise money for the Jimmy Fund or anything noble like that, instead everyone contributed $10 and we bought over 500 Powerball tickets!

You can’t win if you don’t play!

The jackpot for tomorrow night’s drawing is estimated to be over $245 million dollars. Though the whole crew pitched in to buy tickets, at least one already unsatisfied crew member complained that the payout would end up being, “Only a couple of million.”

I want HIS day rate!

After my recent luck at Mohegan Sun, I think this thing is pretty much guaranteed!

If this is my last post ever, at least the Faithful Fifteen will know why.