Frenchy's Rant

Backlash, last night’s WWE Pay Per View was nearly taken off the air in the middle of the show.

After his match, the 7 foot tall, 500 pound Big Show stepped outside the arena for a few minutes. Maybe to make a phone call, or just get a breath of air. Who knows?

Stopping for a moment, he sat down on the bumper of the satellite truck. Suddenly, the door flew open. “What the fuck is… HEY! SIR! GET OFF THE BUMPER!“

All the extra weight on one side of the truck jarred the dish, practically knocking the Pay Per View off the satellite.

Playboy Magazine

680 North Lake Shore Drive
Chicago, Illinois 60611

Dear Playboy,

Recently, I had the pleasure of looking at one of your magazines. Really, it was just to read the articles, some of which were quite good.

I couldn’t help but notice there were several completely naked women in the magazine as well. The fact these girls were appearing in their birthday suits didn’t bother me in the least. This is the year 2006 after all! But what DID bother me is the – I’m not sure how to describe this – almost…. well… “plastic” look of these girls.

Recently, I have started working with a computer program called Photoshop. I was thinking a program such as this could help these unfortunate plastic-looking women appear more realistic.

In fact, I would be more than happy to apply for a full time job working with naked women or fixing their pictures.

I can start anytime!

Sincerely,
Frenchy
Photoshop Expert

This story is second hand so it may not be entirely accurate, and the names have been changed to protect the mentally numb…

Once upon a time there was a guy named Jonathan Evian (not his real name). He worked on one of the many ESPN NBA crews, all of which are quite busy during the playoff season. After working a late night show, Jon (again, not his real name, but pretty close.) took a cab to the airport early the next morning. On the plane flying to the next city, he looked over his hotel bill and noticed something strange.

A charge for valet parking.

The moral of this story could be “Always check your bill before checking out.” This is fine if you don’t actually have a rental car, which poor Mr. Evian, sitting at the gate waiting for his flight, suddenly remembered he did.

The real moral of this story is, “If you are a dumbass, keep it to yourself.“

Now, I really feel like a loser since my boring blog only averages 15 hits a day…

Best Bet

His counter was at 14,775,305 when I posted this.

I was given the nickname ‘Frenchy’ about ten or so years ago in a bar in Watkin’s Glen, NY. Bobby Coles, another audio guy from California was asking about the origin of my last name, which ends with the letter ‘X’. I told him it’s French, and he nicknamed me Frenchy, right there on the spot.

Obviously, the nickname stuck.

Having a nickname was helpful working in Boston, as there were at least four other ‘Marks’ that could end up on the same crew. But in Boston there was just one Frenchy.

My nickname sometimes proved to be a bad thing, because some people don’t know what my real name is. There were times I would hear, “Yeah, I heard that so-and-so was looking for an audio mixer. I wanted to give them your name so they could call you, but I didn’t know what it was.”

Today on my NBA Playoff game in Denver, I had another first. Yup. There is another Frenchy on the crew. A tape operator. I’ve heard about my nemesis, but never met him face to face before.

This will be a fun day, since everyone on the crew knows both of us as Frenchy. At least when the yelling starts tonight, I’ll have someone to share the blame with!