I had over an hour between connections in Detroit on Wednesday, so I decided to have breakfast. I stopped into a place called Online Cafe, and took a seat at the mostly empty bar. After about twenty minutes of grimacing and avoiding me, my invisibility pill must have worn off, and the waitress decided to let me order. I have no idea why this always happens to me, but it does. The evil curse of Dr. Pepper is never far off.

Anyway, while I was ordering, an older, Mexican-looking woman wearing an enormous checkered beret came in and sat down next to me. Naturally, the mean waitress went right over to her. This also never fails to happen. In her thick accent, my new neighbor ordered a ‘Molson Treeple Equis” making the letter X with her hands.

Woah. It’s 8:30 in the morning, and grandma wants a beer. Nice!

Naturally, her beer is served right away. She raised the Molson XXX to me in a sort of salute, then drained half the bottle in one long gulp. I was gawking in astonishment, and clearly she knew it. I wished I had another invisibility pill to take.

With a shrug, she said, “I know eet ees eearly, but I hate to fly. I need thees cerveza for relax.” Grabbing her bottle of relaxation, she emptied it in one more long swig, slammed it down on the bar, turned to me and said, “I only weesh I have time for one mas. Oh well, I go to Mexico now. Adios.” With that, she got up and left.

All before I got my breakfast.

Author: frenchy