Actual letter I sent to Cape Cod Potato Chips today:

Cape Cod Potato Chip Company
100 Breed’s Hill Road
Hyannis, MA 02601

Dear Cape Cod Potato Chip Makers,

Recently I was a passenger on a US Airways flight (First Class! Seat 3F) and I received a complimentary bag of your ‘Reduced Fat’ Potato Chips. 40% Reduced Fat! Incredible! How do you do it? Now it will take me nearly THREE bags of your delicious chips to get my required 100% daily fat intake.

I love Cape Cod! One time I went to a beach on the Cape, but I got bit by a crab. I haven’t been back since, but I assure you I still love Cape Cod just the same, especially those great cranberries they make all over the place, and of course, your 40% Reduced Fat chips.

As I sat there three miles up in the air, munching my crunchy treat, I thought of somthing. What happens to the other 60% of the fat? Do you dump it into the Nantucket Sound? I hope not, it would be very un-healthy for the mutant fish living there. So, tell me, what do you do with all that extra fat you have laying around the chip factory?

Also, the back of the bag said to inquire about ordering your chips by mail. My mailman strikes me as a pretty angry fellow (not as bad as some of those OTHER postmen, but close.) How can I be assured these chips will arrive in tip top chip shape, and not all smashed to bits?

I look forward to hearing from you about my fat question.

Sincerely,

Frenchy

Author: frenchy