For the second time in two months, I am without my electronic leash.

The first time, I managed to leave my cell phone on my saddle bag during a motorcycle trip to Little Rock. Annoying? Yes. Dumb? Yes. Intentional? Well….. maybe…….

When I replaced the phone, I also took out a life insurance policy on it. For a few bucks, if I fold, spindle or otherwise mutilate my phone, Cingular will supposedly send me a brand new one. Right now I am VERY happy about this policy!

Why? Today, after flying in to Los Angeles, it happened again. I made a quick pit stop, and disaster struck. As I made my way into the stall, I heard a “SPLOOOSH!”

“SPLOOOSH?”, I thought to myself. “What the hell was that?” Then, “Oh shit!” as the realization hit me.

There, taking on water, deep in the mouth of the now laughing toilet was my new cellular phone. Yes. The toilet. In a LAX public restroom. I can’t be sure it was a clean toilet, but at least it seemed unusued. Without even trying, I knocked the phone from my hip and scored a bullseye.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes and reached deep into the cold, gaping maw of the pisser. I retrevied the cursed phone, and to my surprise it was still working. Of course, that was short lived. As I watched, the message ‘Be Safe. Be Courteous.’ flickered across the screen, then it went dark.

I had to tell everyone I was traveling with what just happened. My phone was immediatley dubbed the ‘Smell-O-Phone’ and someone asked if I chaged the ringtone to a fart. What a group of comedians.

So, once again I am disconnected. Hopefully the phone’s life insurance policy covers flood damage.

Author: frenchy