Yaay! More Spam, this time from the Chevron Oil and Gas Company (SINGAPORE)

Here it is:

Dear Email Account User,

Good day to You While I will Like to Introduce Myself to you as Mrs. Mariam Hennesy and I am the Company’s Secretary Of Chevron WorldWide Oil and Gas Company In Singapore (ASIA DISTRICT).

Please, If this Email Address Is For You, I wish to Congratulate You and Inform You that Your Urgent Attention Is Needed at Our Branch Office In the United Kingdom as We Have Good News For You. I Advise You Contact The Officer In charge Within the Next 24hrs to Get the News Of this Life Transforming Offer Coming to You From this Great Company.

Do Contact the Officer-in charge via email With the Information Below:

Mr. Alan Moore

coefa02@live.com

I want to Congratulate You In Advance and Please Do Not Forget to Help the Poor In the Society When Chevron Texaco Makes You a Beneficiary Of their World Of Wealth.

Yours Faithfully,

Mariam Hennesy (Mrs.)

For the Chief Executive Officer (CEO),

Chevron WorldWide Oil and Gas Company,

Singapore, Asia

And here is my response:

Dear Singapore Spammer,

Good day to you too. I would like to introduce myself as Mr. Email Account User. My friends call me Email, but you may call me Mr. User. I am so glad you were able to randomly select me for Chevron’s mysterious good news.

I am really in need of a life changing event, and somehow I always knew it would come from a gigantic petroleum conglomerate. I mean, I really got the short end of the stick, with my stupid first name and all. And, you want to know the funny thing? I was born before the invention of the World Wide Web, so in reality, I feel I am owed royalties for the misappropriation of my legal name by Al Gore, the inventor of ‘The Internet.’ Now, the electronic messages bearing my name bring people scams such as this one, questionable penis enlargement methods and, of course, everybody’s favorite, the little blue football pill called Viagra, which by coincidence happens to be my sister’s name. (But, to be fair, she was born after, and actually because of, the invention of Viagra.)

But I am sure that is not why you emailed me (you see? I really feel I should get a few dollars every time my name is misused by your company in this inappropriate manner) I am assuming your secret yet life changing news is of a different sort. I am hoping that the Chevron Oil and Gas Company Singapore want to help me ‘go green’ and I am not talking about Mr. Gore’s other invention, ‘The Environment.’

So, Mariam Hennesey (Mrs.) I, Email A. User (Mr.) am replying to your suspiciously non-Chevron email address (that misuse of my name will cost you and your company another $10. This ‘Going Green’ is ‘Going Well’ for me) to find out what your offer is.

Anxiously awaiting my gigantic sum of cash and royalties!

Sincerely,

Mr. E. A. User

Author: frenchy

One Response to “Going Green”

1. abi says:

   September 24, 2008 at 7:48 PM

   you notice every word was started with a capital letter? you should have responded like that too

   Reply