Here’s a new twist on an old favorite spam scam that I received today. My reply is below the message. The funny thing about these spam emails is I never hear back from the person, and I never seem to get the money either.

Mrs Esther Prakash

P.O.Box: 20581, Safat

13066 Safat Kuwait

Dearest in Christ,

Greetings in the Name of Our Lord Jesus Christ, I am Mrs Esther Prakash. I am married to Mr Prakash Anderson who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for many years before he died in the year 2006.We were married without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of (($2.600.000.00) Two million six hundred thousand Dollars in a Bank in Ivory Coast. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem.

I Have decided to donate this fund to you so that you will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct you.

I want you to use this fund for orphanages, school and, widows, and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians.

I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision.

I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and hence the presence of my husband抯 relatives is around me always. I don’t want them to know about this development.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank in Ivory Coast. I await your soonest response with your full information, example.

Your full name…………………..

Address………………………………..

Age……………………………………..

A copy of your int’l passport or ID card………….

I will use the above information to obtain an authority letter that will prove you the new beneficiary of this fund from Royal Court of Kuwait.

Any delay in your reply will give me room searching another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply with the above information.

Take care,

Your Sister in Christ,

Mrs Esther Prakash.

My Response:

Dear Esther,

Wow. What else can I say but WOW?!? Just the other day I decided to test out ‘the power of prayer’ and ask God for a huge pile of money. And then I receive your email this morning. Hallelujah! An email from a perfect stranger in a pretend place called Kuwait that wants to give me two million bucks! The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways, now I can add spam email to that list of mysteries.

Aside from the obvious illegality of this spam scam, one other thing you said in your message bothers me. You said want me to use this money to make sure the house of God is maintained. Will it be good enough if I take the money and build myself a huge mansion with two swimming pools and a tennis court and then call my new palace The House of God? Personally, this idea seems a bit blasphemous, even to me, but still, I’ve always wanted to learn how to play tennis.

If this does not suit you, I could always install one of those statues that cries blood or something. People love that stuff. I could then charge them a lot of money to come see my fake bleeding statue. You know, Esther, we could really be on to something here! Send me that money!

So, you need my full name and all this stuff that all the other spammers want? OK Here it is:

Snickerdoodle F. Rumplemintz (The F. stands for Frangelico, in case you were wondering)

555 Mary Jane Lane

Fartbag, ND

My age? Old enough to know better

I do not have a passport, because as a proud resident of Fartbag, I do not believe that any other countries or places actually exist.

Please hurry up and send me the money before you join the late great Prakash Anderson in the Spammer Hall of Shame in the sky.

Sincerely,

Snickerdoodle

PS: I just noticed that your LAST name is also your husband抯 FIRST name… care to explain that one to me?

Author: frenchy

2 Responses to “In The Money”

1. Smushy's Mom says:

   August 5, 2008 at 8:54 PM

   Dear Mr. Snickerdoodle.. If you are looking for hot babes to lay out by your two pools, Smushy and I are game.

   Reply
2. Marco Polo says:

   August 5, 2008 at 1:48 AM

   Fuckin’ A, Snickerdoodle….take the damn money and run, yo!!!!!!

   Reply