One unexpected bonus from the Tribute to the Troops show – I found out what the cartoonists that make Airline Safety brochures do in their spare time.

They make other helpful pamphlets, such as the Modern Standard Arabic Medical Visual Language Translator!

This useful little wonder could be a lifesaver in a foreign country, especially if the medics don’t speak your language, because all you’d have to do is point to the picture of your problem, and help and a proper medical diagnosis would be only a cartoon away.

For example:

Find yourself dreaming about beds? Water? Food? Point to the appropriate picture. How much can you bench press? What else can you figure out on this page?

Ever been to Fat Head’s in Pittsburgh and tried Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride? Feel like this afterwards?

Cut by a broken bottle? No, it was more of a pocket knife, well… maybe it was scimitar? I was burned by beakers of red and green acid – you know, the Christmas-y kind of acid used in ‘interrogations.’

My baby has a questionable tummy. Maybe I need to change it’s batteries?

I will feed my child some thumbtacks, or perhaps a fish skeleton. That should help!

If you have a sick cat, you’re shit out of luck.

Heart attack, or just broken hearted? Hit with a rock? A bat? Electrocuted? By what? Curious that the electrically wired ‘interrogation’ bed frame is missing from the list.

Even more curious, the artists really seem to know how to do lines and cook a nice spoon of high grade heroin.

Are you able to relocate your heart? How far do you bend over when you puke? Ever feel like the Patient in the game Operation?

Have you eaten Indian food lately?

I told you that you were out of luck. Your cat needs an MRI, but since there isn’t one in this entire country, we are going to stick a candy cane in your ass instead.

Your guess is as good as mine about whether or not these ‘treatments’ will work, or if they are just designed to get you to confess some imaginary crime. The moral of the story is don’t get sick in a foreign land without a helpful medical comic book.

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