Frenchy's Rant

This new hobby of mine is really exciting. I actually read the whole manual for my telescope. Twice. Went out and purchased a level and a compass. Read half of “The Backyard Astronomer” as well as many online astronomy forums. I actually know where Betelguese is now, and can locate the twin stars Castor and Pollux relatively easily.

Last night, I was determined to see something… anything at all. Saturn was high on my list. Supposedly it would be in a position to see it at 10 PM. I bundled up extra well, two layers of socks, long johns, sweatshirt, jacket, gloves, hat… I even dug my scarf out of storage. (I think it was a balmy 14 degrees last night.)

Took the telescope out and leveled it, and let it cool down so the optics would be optimum. Ran an extension cord so that the batteries wouldn’t die in the cold. Put extra wood on the stove, cranked the heat way up and made some coffee for my thermos, so that I wouldn’t die in the cold. Covered every possible contingency I could think of. I was warm. I was as prepared as I could be. I was ready to go!

Of course, during all these preparations for a night of stargazing, the one thing I couldn’t prepare for happened.

Clouds.

I think I might just take up beer tasting.

Here is how I spent some of my day off today. Having a huge skating rink in the back yard is great. Amazingly, I didn’t spend the rest of my day off in the emergency room.

Oh yeah, the curse of Dr. Pepper continues.

Here are a few recent examples:

Coming home from Afghanistan took nearly thirty hours. We were supposed to leave Bagram at 7 PM on Friday, we didn’t end up leaving until 7 AM. Our two to four hour layover actually took six. Dr. Peppered? No, that’s just the way the military works.

We were supposed to land at Andrews Air Force Base at 6:30 PM. The WWE travel department had rebooked all our flights home for 9:30 PM and later. Of course we didn’t land until 8:45, too late to make our rebooked connections. We got to spend the night in an airport hotel instead of getting home that night.

The Dr. Pepper curse reared its ugly head the next morning. My flight was scheduled for 8:15, I went to the lobby at 6:45. You’d think an airport hotel would have a convenient way for travelers to get to the airport, right?

Nope.

Not one taxi, and a useless shuttle that only runs twice an hour. That stupid hotel (Hyatt Dulles for any masochists that enjoy travel pain.) Dr. Peppered me into missing my flight, having to fly to Boston instead and renting a car to get back home. Perfect end to a perfect trip? No, it continues…

On the way back to my house, I stopped to pick up the blinds I’d ordered before we left. (I know, just what everyone wants to do after a trip to Afghanistan… hang blinds!)

Well of course one of the blinds was too big. By an inch. Of course.

I called the store to see what I could do. I was told that since I was the one that measured the window, and the blind was the size I had ordered, my only real option was to order a new blind.

Great.

I decided to save some money, beat the curse and fix it myself. I grabbed my hacksaw, and just cut an inch off the damn thing. Amazingly, it fit and the blind works perfectly.

So far, the score: Dr. Pepper Curse: 1 – Me: 1. Even… but not for long.

The simplest of projects can turn into a disaster. Example? Oh I don’t know… say… uhh… changing a lightbulb. The joke would go something like this: How many Frenchy’s does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: I should really know better by now…

One of the lightbulbs in my kitchen fixture was out. To change it involves unscrewing a big glass globe. I climbed up and tried to loosen the globe without breaking it. While I didn’t break the glass, I did manage to twist the WHOLE FIXTURE right off the ceiling! It’s now hanging in my kitchen by a few wires, globe still intact.

And yes, the light is still burned out.

Funny note, the spell checker, which I should use more often to catch all those damn teh’s couldn’t understand the word “lightbulb” and suggested “lustfully” instead. Huh??

For the first time in almost a month, I actually have a few days off. A few weeks ago I bought myself an early Christmas present, a Meade EXT 125 telescope (with the UTCH Coating!) and tonight would be my first opportunity to try it out.

Here is a link to Mick Foley’s Afghanistan blog. Mick is one of the WWE Superstars that went to Afghanistan for the 2005 “Tribute to the Troops”. Evidently Mick doesn’t have to work NBA games, and has time to work on his blog (or if you read the whole thing, which starts at the bottom of the page… his WEB LOG, not blog…)

Must be nice to have time to work on your blog, or web log, or whatever you want to call it. One of these days I will get around to finishing up my own “Tribute to the Troops” journal… honestly.

One word of warning, Mick’s web log isn’t fluff from a dopey wrestler, its a heartfelt piece from one of the more intelligent Superstars out there. I sat with Mick for a few minutes while he was writing in his notebook, and asked him what his best memory was of the trip so far. He told me a little about Midikula, the little boy in the Afghan hospital that touched him deeply.

Give it a read, it might just surprise you.