Do assholes always finish first? Maybe yes, maybe no, but they definitely get on the plane before everyone else.

There is nothing better than watching the sun rise at 30,000 feet, except maybe sleeping through it.

United Airlines provides ‘Channel Nine’ on most flights – allowing passengers to listen to cockpit communications. While connecting through Chicago’s extremely busy airport, in ONE MINUTE, I counted thirty five transmissions from ground control to Major Tom – no, wait, not Major Tom… to thirty five planes jockeying for takeoff position, including one poor, lost pilot asking for directions to the runway. No wonder flights are never on time.

With record cold all across the US, I encourage everyone to do their part to increase the mythical farce of so-called global warming so it can be summer year round. Screw the polar bears. What has a polar bear done for you lately?

Make people worry too much about global warming, that’s what.

Days seem a lot longer when you’re on a diet.

Here’s proof that the stupidest thing ever has already been invented:

It’s called the Goatee Saver. For the low, low price of $19.99 you too can have a goatee that’s even on both sides! Sham-WOW! This may not be the stupidest thing ever invented (I think that honor goes to the ShamWow!) but it has to be in the bottom ten.

Goatee Saver inventor Scott Bonge is probably a millionaire now.

I am not a millionaire.

The Goatee Saver would make a perfect birthday present.

My thirty-ninth birthday is January 22.

What have I learned in the past thirty-nine years? Getting old sucks. Growing up sucks. I don’t feel as old right now as I thought my parents were when they were my age.

When you stop being a student, you stop learning. One thing this student learned just this morning is that Eppley Airport in Omaha calls itself the ‘World’s Cleanest Airport.’ I learned this information by reading the the rubber thing in the urinal.

Learning stuff is hard work.

In five years, will anything that happens now really matter all that much? Anyone recall the Writers Strike that started off 2008 with reruns and a bunch of canceled shows? Me either.

In the February issue of Men’s Journal, Shaquille O’Neal admits the one song he listens to at least once a week is the Undertaker’s theme. Finally Shaq and I have something in common!

The new year will bring some much-needed changes to the blog.

I now need to figure out what those changes will be.

Author: frenchy

One Response to “Randomness”

1. Ed says:

   January 14, 2009 at 10:07 PM

   at least if it was summer year around it would be decent riding weather…..?

   Reply