You honestly have no idea what day it is, what city you woke up in, what city you were in the night before, or where you’re going next.

You finally break down and wear the last clean pair of socks in your suitcase, and throw every other pair away, because they can pretty much stand up on their own.

A nearby Target or Wal-Mart seems like a Godsend, because you ran out of deodorant a week ago, and can replace your all your socks.

Your suitcase is missing a zipper/handle/wheel, and you don’t have time to send it out for repairs because you have a full month of work ahead, and don’t want to drag the “big” suitcase around for that whole month.

Getting trapped in an elevator at 3AM after your tenth straight day on the road is hilarious.

The mark of a superior hotel is twenty-four hour room service.

You forget your room number, because you’ve been in five different hotels in the past five days.

You angrily present your Marriot room key at the front desk, because it doesn’t open your room, only to be told you are staying in a Hyatt.

You know the difference between a “good” Westin and a “bad” Westin.

You’ll pay seven bucks for a piece of pizza and a soda in an airport, and feel it’s reasonable.

You know every restaurant in every concourse in every airport, and plan your airport arrival time accordingly.

You cringe whenever someone starts a story, “This one time I was on a plane…” because you already know the story, no matter what it is.

You know the airplane exit door weighs 43 lbs.

After a shower, you write “I’m Watching You” on every hotel bathroom mirror, and think it’s funny.

You look out the airplane window and recognize where you are.

News of Delta pilots authorizing a strike – not GOING on strike, just authorizing one – makes you break out in a cold sweat.

The guy at the airport parking lot booth knows you by name.

You dial 9 for an outside line at home, realize the milk in your fridge expired five weeks ago, and wake up in your own bed wondering where the hell you are.

You can measure your time home between flights in hours instead of days.

And finally, even though stupid and annoying things are happening around you every day, you somehow run out of things to blog about.

Author: frenchy