“Two medium coffees, milk only please.”

“MRHHMm bzztt MRhhHMM!!” the speaker crackled in response. I guessed that meant drive around, so I did, and grabbed our coffees. With a smile and a wave she replied, “MRHHMMm bzztt MrhhMM!!”

My girlfriend Fiona, fully aware of my tendency to spill things on myself, especially when I am wearing a white shirt, warned me to check the lid.

Yeah yeah, whatever. Don’t tell me what to do, even if it’s for my own good. But in the interest of keeping the peace, instead of saying what was on my mind, I simply replied, “It’s fine.”

Stubborn? Me? Naah!!

I went to take a sip of the hot coffee, and, as if on cue, the damn lid popped right off, spilling a quarter of the boiling contents down my formerly nice clean white shirt.

FUCK!

How she kept from laughing at me at that point is still a mystery to this day.

Naturally, I exploded. “FUCK! This shit ALWAYS happens to me!” I released a very colorful string of curses, and when that didn’t calm me down, I threw the damn coffee right out the window of the Jeep.

Well, I should say I would’ve thrown the coffee right out the window of the Jeep, had that damn window been open. Guess I should of checked that too. The rest of the coffee exploded all over the completely closed window, covering my shirt and the whole interior of the Jeep with the remainder of my medium Dunkin Donuts coffee, milk only.

Stubborn? Me? Well… maybe just a bit.

How she ever stopped laughing at me is also a mystery to this day.

Author: frenchy